For some reason, recalling feedback instances from a boss may instantly bring up memories of being called into the principal's office in elementary school. No matter your age, you will always remember that moment.

Giving feedback as a leader is NOT meant to "get someone in trouble." Even while constructive or positive feedback (as opposed to negative feedback) is allowed, the objective of employee feedback should always be to support the team culture. Assuming the job of coach — rather than merely boss — involves doing this. It covers work styles, communication abilities, and performance management.

One of the most critical things about how to give feedback is WHEN you give it (whether it’s constructive feedback or positive feedback).

Follow these simple guidelines:

• Provide feedback as CLOSELY as feasible to the pertinent circumstances: Holding onto feedback does the team member a disservice and adds another commitment to your schedule. Even though it might not always be possible due to time constraints, giving feedback promptly (within a week) is preferable to waiting until the following performance evaluation.
• Be aware of the time AND location: Avoid criticizing someone in front of other people. Period. To provide constructive criticism, always make sure you are in a private setting. Be kind because the person you are about to speak to might be having flashbacks to third grade.
• Read the room: Be aware of your own emotions, your degree of irritability, and the welfare of the rest of the team. (For example, refrain from offering constructive criticism if you are irritated or the other person is obviously angry or feeling it and about to throw up their lunch.)

An opinion is not a two-word feeling. "Good work", "thank you", "nice job", or "stop that" are not appropriate responses. Yes, we should express our gratitude, but providing constructive criticism necessitates being specific. What went good, what went wrong, what went in the correct direction, and even what may be done better the next time are all discussed.

Let's start at the beginning rather than diving right into the "meat" of the criticism. Setting the tone for the conversation and the employee experience can be done by choosing HOW to begin a feedback dialogue.

• "I have some wonderful news to share with you."
• "Let's break down every aspect of that fantastic presentation that worked."
• "Let's talk about what's working," you said. "I've really noticed the extra effort and ingenuity you've been putting into this current project."

What to notice: All of these statements imply there is something MORE to discuss, share, and give positive feedback about. Feedback is a conversation not a one time ATM deposit.

• "I want to discuss something with you regarding our present project. Join forces and think together.
• "I've observed that not all of your work is as meticulous as it usually is. Is everything alright?
• "It goes without saying that we need to talk about the argument you and Sue had during the meeting. What would be a good place to begin?

What to notice: These kinds of feedback aim to establish alliances and common ground. They are welcoming rather than imposing a strict command from above. Feedback examples like this are simpler for others to understand when the person is a full participant in the conversation.

The HOW you say it is a combination of things like tone, body language, facial expression, and even volume. Here’s a list of do’s and dont’s.

Do:

• Smile when appropriate.
• Be at eye level (either both seated or both standing).
• Watch your resting “you-know-what” face.
• Avoid the eye roll entirely.
• Inject humor when appropriate. It’s ok to laugh!
• Ask if the person has any questions.

Don’t:

• Never raise your voice. Ever. (1950 called and wants their management style back)
• Avoid admitting anything that might be your responsibility.
• Don't Interrupt. Just listen.
• Go on and on and on. Make sure it’s a dialogue.
• Do anything else while delivering feedback. Your exploding inbox can wait.
• Try to remember all of these things. Just be authentic and real.

The STAR model is one of the most widely used and enduring models for providing useful feedback. This one is for you if you appreciate acronyms and terms that you can easily remember and carry with you at all times:

S = The Situation T = Task A = Action R = Result

S: With the Smith account, you went above and beyond and put a lot of effort into it.

T: The moment they attacked you with that last-minute pivot.

A: You were completely aware of the data you needed to gather to make things better.

R: Our primary contact was ecstatic and intends to extend their relationship with us.

S: I am aware that since Sarah left our team, things have been difficult.

T: I am aware that you had difficulty with the previous project.

A: It appeared as though you hurried rather than seeking assistance as the deadline drew near.

R: Consequently, we need to go back and check a few items to make sure we've covered everything.

Here are a few examples:

• Is there anything I could have done to help you?
• What would you change if you could?
• How can the group assist you more effectively in the future?
• In your opinion, where should one begin with the project?